1 00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:08,033 - Hi, I'm Patrick Star. 2 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:11,103 And I live with my parents. 3 00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:11,937 Ow! 4 00:00:12,004 --> 00:00:14,006 This is my dad. 5 00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:17,710 This is my mom. 6 00:00:17,777 --> 00:00:19,178 [giggles] 7 00:00:19,244 --> 00:00:21,814 This is my sister-- she's shy. 8 00:00:21,881 --> 00:00:24,383 This is my grandpa. 9 00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:26,652 This is my room. 10 00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:28,353 And this... 11 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:33,325 This is my show! 12 00:00:33,392 --> 00:00:35,260 [cheering] 13 00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:38,998 - Welcome back, astro-viewers, 14 00:00:39,064 --> 00:00:41,100 to the SS Silver Minnow-- 15 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,536 home to intrepid explorer 16 00:00:43,603 --> 00:00:45,538 Captain Doug Quasar! 17 00:00:45,605 --> 00:00:48,474 As the most advanced ship in the galaxy, 18 00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:51,043 the Minnow is packed to the gills 19 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:54,146 with all manner of cutting-edge technology. 20 00:00:54,213 --> 00:00:57,182 And also this robot. 21 00:00:57,249 --> 00:00:58,383 - [burps] 22 00:00:58,450 --> 00:00:59,819 [phone rings] 23 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,420 Yeah, who is it? 24 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,823 Pat-Tron, it's Captain Doug Quasar. 25 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,290 I'm locked out. 26 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,193 I need you to open the ship's door. 27 00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:11,631 - I'm sorry Doug, I'm afraid I can't do that. 28 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,198 - What? Of course you can! 29 00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:15,901 It's an order. I'm the captain. 30 00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:17,302 - Ha, I don't think so. 31 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,005 The captain always has his keys with him. 32 00:01:20,072 --> 00:01:22,107 And his keys are right here. 33 00:01:22,174 --> 00:01:24,309 Okay, gotta go. 34 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,845 Hmm... 35 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,680 Maybe the real captain's lost. 36 00:01:27,747 --> 00:01:29,048 I better go find him. 37 00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:32,585 - Open up, you junky old star-toaster! 38 00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:34,754 [screams] 39 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:37,456 - Uh, nope, no captain here. 40 00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:39,024 - [screams] 41 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:41,994 [yelling] 42 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,428 - Not here, either. 43 00:01:44,864 --> 00:01:46,265 - [screams] Oof! 44 00:01:46,331 --> 00:01:48,000 - Nope! - [yelling] 45 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,869 - Uh-uh. - Ow! 46 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,070 Oof! - Not here. 47 00:01:51,136 --> 00:01:53,038 I'm helping. 48 00:01:53,105 --> 00:01:55,641 - Aw, he is a good helper. 49 00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:57,309 Oh, hey there! 50 00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,211 Today on "The Patrick Show," 51 00:01:59,278 --> 00:02:02,447 you'll be watching me watch cartoons. 52 00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:06,619 - And now, stay tuned 53 00:02:06,686 --> 00:02:09,989 for our six-hour marathon of... 54 00:02:10,055 --> 00:02:13,392 "Bowling for Clams!" 55 00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:17,897 - Bowling? 56 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:20,399 Boring! I want cartoons. 57 00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:22,234 [stuttering] 58 00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:23,869 [bowling strike sound] 59 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:25,605 [stutters] 60 00:02:25,605 --> 00:02:26,739 [gasps] 61 00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:31,443 - [hisses, growls] 62 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:32,612 - Wow. 63 00:02:32,645 --> 00:02:35,748 The remote seems grumpier than usual. 64 00:02:35,815 --> 00:02:37,717 I guess it's gone forever. 65 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,185 - You could go looking for the remote. 66 00:02:40,252 --> 00:02:42,287 You know, find it, bring it back. 67 00:02:42,354 --> 00:02:43,956 Fetch it! Fetch it, boy! 68 00:02:44,023 --> 00:02:45,024 You can do it. 69 00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:46,826 Go on, go get that remote. 70 00:02:46,892 --> 00:02:48,728 - Okay, I'll do it! 71 00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:55,000 [adventurous music plays] 72 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,502 Hi, I'm Patrick Star. 73 00:02:57,637 --> 00:03:01,674 And we're gonna be searching for the "Remoto Dragon," 74 00:03:01,741 --> 00:03:05,544 More commonly known as the TV remote. 75 00:03:05,645 --> 00:03:09,815 On today's "Lookin' Around For..." 76 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,151 - [grunts] 77 00:03:13,118 --> 00:03:14,654 [grunting] 78 00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:19,859 Okay, camera one is good to go. 79 00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:21,393 - Ow! - [gurgles] 80 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:22,895 - Happy hunting. And remember, 81 00:03:22,962 --> 00:03:24,764 don't come home empty-handed. 82 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,700 Your entire "Patrick Show" audience is watching! 83 00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:28,734 - Huh? 84 00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:31,036 Oh... - Oh, don't mind me. 85 00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:34,273 I always enjoy a good failure. 86 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,675 [chuckles] 87 00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:36,709 - Huh. 88 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,713 Whoo! 89 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:41,914 - Ooh. 90 00:03:41,981 --> 00:03:42,948 [grunts] 91 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,884 - Fascinating. 92 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,452 These natural sofa formations 93 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:51,556 must have been here for thousands of years. 94 00:03:51,691 --> 00:03:55,060 Or at least since Mom reupholstered the couch. 95 00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:56,862 Wow. 96 00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:59,765 This place is a gold mine. 97 00:03:59,832 --> 00:04:02,201 Oh, I thought I lost this comic! 98 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,769 Cha-ching! 99 00:04:03,836 --> 00:04:06,706 Check out all the loose change. 100 00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:07,773 What? 101 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:08,941 Oh, my gosh, 102 00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:11,043 my yo-yo! 103 00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:12,577 [giggles] 104 00:04:12,712 --> 00:04:15,547 I missed you most of all, yo-yo. 105 00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:19,418 [grunts] 106 00:04:19,484 --> 00:04:21,721 [gulps] Oh... 107 00:04:21,754 --> 00:04:24,223 Whoa! 108 00:04:24,289 --> 00:04:26,358 [yells] 109 00:04:26,425 --> 00:04:28,060 [gasps] 110 00:04:29,795 --> 00:04:31,630 Must be the end of the river. 111 00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:34,399 Maybe we can pick up his trail from here. 112 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,269 Ooh, ooh. 113 00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:41,040 Remoto Dragons love to hide deep in cushion jungles 114 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,742 just like these. 115 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,177 - [snarls] 116 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,346 [growls] 117 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,647 - Wait, remote! 118 00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:50,850 Come back and let me catch you! 119 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,284 - [snarls] 120 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,487 - [panting] 121 00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:01,060 Help, I'm being crushed 122 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:04,263 by two of the biggest, roundest, heaviest things 123 00:05:04,329 --> 00:05:06,398 I've ever been crushed by! 124 00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,334 ["Mermaid Man" theme plays] - Joy! 125 00:05:09,401 --> 00:05:14,840 The 168-hour "Mermaid Man" marathon is about to begin! 126 00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:19,078 Time to get really, really, extra comfortable. 127 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,545 - [growls] 128 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,047 - [screams] 129 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,316 Ouch... 130 00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:27,419 - You did it Ouchie, we're safe! 131 00:05:27,486 --> 00:05:28,921 [yells] 132 00:05:28,988 --> 00:05:30,289 I was wrong. 133 00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:32,491 Tragedy can strike at any moment! 134 00:05:32,557 --> 00:05:33,959 Whoa! 135 00:05:34,026 --> 00:05:35,094 - Ah! 136 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,195 [whimpers] 137 00:05:36,261 --> 00:05:37,329 Whoa! 138 00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:38,663 [grunts] 139 00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:41,200 Oof! [struggles] 140 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:42,634 Oh, shrimp! 141 00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:44,536 Patrick, I lost the rope. 142 00:05:44,603 --> 00:05:47,206 Are you okay? Are you still recording? 143 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:51,343 - Still here and still rolling, sis. 144 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:54,379 I think some sort of sock-a-dactyl 145 00:05:54,446 --> 00:05:56,415 took me to its house. - [screeches] 146 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,950 - [chirping] 147 00:05:58,017 --> 00:05:59,584 - Ooh. 148 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,054 Looks like it's lunch time. 149 00:06:02,121 --> 00:06:04,156 [gurgles] 150 00:06:04,223 --> 00:06:05,257 [burps] 151 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:06,859 Mmm, tastes like argyle. 152 00:06:06,926 --> 00:06:07,827 - Ew. 153 00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:10,229 Wait. A sock-a-dactyl? 154 00:06:10,295 --> 00:06:12,898 Patrick, I don't think you're in the couch anymore! 155 00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:15,434 I think you've broken through to a dresser! 156 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,169 Don't worry, Big Brother, 157 00:06:17,236 --> 00:06:19,638 I promise I'll find you! 158 00:06:19,704 --> 00:06:21,273 - Cool, you do you. 159 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,943 I'm gonna keep looking for the remote. 160 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,145 [yawns] 161 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,014 - [panting] 162 00:06:29,081 --> 00:06:31,383 He's got to be here somewhere! 163 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:33,085 [clowns squeaking] 164 00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:34,854 [grunts] Huh? 165 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,356 - [humming] 166 00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:38,690 What's going on, sweetie? 167 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:40,860 Patrick went in the couch after the remote, 168 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:43,896 but now I lost him in a dresser! 169 00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:45,597 - [chuckles] That's nice. 170 00:06:45,664 --> 00:06:47,432 Is Patrick your imaginary friend? 171 00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:49,902 - What? No, he's your son! 172 00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:50,936 - [gasps] 173 00:06:51,003 --> 00:06:52,905 My imaginary son is in trouble? 174 00:06:52,972 --> 00:06:54,706 Then I'm going in after him. 175 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,142 [grunts] 176 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,611 - [struggles] 177 00:06:59,678 --> 00:07:01,146 This might take a moment. 178 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:05,050 So we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. 179 00:07:05,117 --> 00:07:06,085 [struggles] 180 00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:06,886 [European folk music playing] 181 00:07:06,952 --> 00:07:09,321 - Hi, I'm Rube Goldfish, 182 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,091 owner of Bikini Bottom Gold Tours. 183 00:07:12,157 --> 00:07:14,894 And I wanna take you on a magical trip 184 00:07:14,927 --> 00:07:17,029 through your own furniture. 185 00:07:17,096 --> 00:07:18,363 - Ooh. 186 00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:21,033 - Imagine eight luxurious days 187 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,368 seeing your couch, your love seat, 188 00:07:23,435 --> 00:07:24,904 even your credenza, 189 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:28,207 like you've never seen them before. 190 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,976 Why, you've never truly experienced 191 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:32,811 Grandma's china hutch 192 00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,914 until you've spent the night there. 193 00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:38,017 Ooh, looks cozy! 194 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,752 Call the number to book your trip today. 195 00:07:40,819 --> 00:07:43,155 It'll be amazing. 196 00:07:43,222 --> 00:07:45,124 [gasps, screams] 197 00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:47,792 - Aw, there's no remote here, either. 198 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,494 [dramatic music] 199 00:07:49,561 --> 00:07:51,430 - Tally-ho! 200 00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:52,597 - Ah! 201 00:07:52,664 --> 00:07:54,699 - Now, remember, if you find Patrick, 202 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,735 give a shout and tug on the rope. 203 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,003 - Oh, no. 204 00:07:58,070 --> 00:08:00,472 I ain't going searchin' for a boob 205 00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:02,975 who can't find his way out of a chair. 206 00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:04,809 I have nappin' to do! 207 00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:06,345 - He's your grandson! 208 00:08:06,411 --> 00:08:08,680 Besides, it's going to be on TV, 209 00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:10,782 which makes it important. 210 00:08:10,849 --> 00:08:13,485 - [screams] 211 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,522 - Some Remoto Dragons have adapted to urban living, 212 00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:20,692 and can now be found in old junk drawers. 213 00:08:20,759 --> 00:08:22,294 Like this one. 214 00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:25,797 Ooh, looks like a dragon print. 215 00:08:25,864 --> 00:08:28,233 Hey, I was lookin' at that! 216 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,969 - [snarls] - Wow, Remoto. 217 00:08:29,969 --> 00:08:32,237 You got big. 218 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,838 - [growls] 219 00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,976 [snarling] - [grunting] 220 00:08:42,214 --> 00:08:44,183 [shouts] - [snarls] 221 00:08:46,518 --> 00:08:47,852 - Huh? 222 00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:49,888 The low battery light? 223 00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:52,057 No wonder you've been so cranky. 224 00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:54,259 [yells] - [growls] 225 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,296 [snarls] 226 00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:00,432 - [whimpers] 227 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,700 Batteries! 228 00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:03,502 Oh, I hope they're double A. 229 00:09:03,568 --> 00:09:05,070 - [growling] 230 00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:06,638 - [struggles] 231 00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:11,410 - [struggling] - [growling] 232 00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:15,480 [gulps] 233 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,619 [snarls] 234 00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:23,655 [barks happily] 235 00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:25,924 - [giggles] Aww. 236 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:29,128 Squidina, I did it! I got the remote. 237 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,430 But how do I get out of here? 238 00:09:31,496 --> 00:09:32,631 - [struggles] 239 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,034 Don't worry, bro. I sent the whole town 240 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,701 into the couch searching for you. 241 00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:38,737 We'll have you out in a jiffy! 242 00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:40,039 [struggles] 243 00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:42,374 - Yo, pink dude, ya in here? 244 00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:45,110 - Breaking news, local stay-at-home son 245 00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:47,379 Patrick Star is missing in the couch. 246 00:09:47,446 --> 00:09:48,513 Film at 11. 247 00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:51,083 - Where's my big boy? 248 00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:54,286 I brought you a change of underwear. 249 00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:57,922 - I did it! I found him! 250 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,159 I found him! 251 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,027 [all yelling] 252 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,729 [all shout] 253 00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:05,730 - [giggles] 254 00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:06,998 Huh? Hmm? 255 00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:09,134 - My boy. 256 00:10:09,201 --> 00:10:11,903 - But that's not Patrick, that's Ouchie. 257 00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:13,472 - Are you sure? 258 00:10:13,538 --> 00:10:15,307 He has my eyes. 259 00:10:15,374 --> 00:10:17,042 - Do you know what this means? 260 00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:18,943 Patrick's lost! 261 00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:21,313 He's putting on the best show ever 262 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,148 and we're not getting any of it! 263 00:10:23,215 --> 00:10:24,616 This is terrible! 264 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:27,286 Maybe we should send someone in after him. 265 00:10:28,187 --> 00:10:30,355 - Patrick, you're safe! 266 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,991 - Patrick, I'm safe! - Ooh! 267 00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:36,027 - And now I can use the remote again. 268 00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:38,029 [all cheer weakly] - My boy. 269 00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,065 - It all worked out. 270 00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:42,201 How disappointing. 271 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,969 [chatter on television] 272 00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,571 - Hello? - Hm? 273 00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:48,807 - Can anyone hear me? 274 00:10:48,873 --> 00:10:51,443 I'm still in here! [banging] 275 00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:53,678 What's going on? 276 00:10:53,745 --> 00:10:57,015 - See, this is why you need a remote. 277 00:10:57,082 --> 00:10:58,517 - Hey! 278 00:11:01,253 --> 00:11:03,788 What's this, bowling? 279 00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,757 I love bowling! 280 00:11:05,824 --> 00:11:07,592 I'll show you amateurs 281 00:11:07,659 --> 00:11:10,629 how we used to knock 'em down before the war! 282 00:11:10,695 --> 00:11:12,030 Gimme that ball! 283 00:11:12,131 --> 00:11:14,633 [grunts] 284 00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:16,168 [shouts] 285 00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:17,336 Whoo-hoo! 286 00:11:17,402 --> 00:11:19,371 - Go, GrandPat! - I love bowling! 287 00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,707 [whimsical music] 288 00:11:22,774 --> 00:11:25,410 * * 289 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,478 - Hm? 290 00:11:29,047 --> 00:11:30,782 [applause] 291 00:11:30,849 --> 00:11:32,551 Thank you, thank you. 292 00:11:32,617 --> 00:11:36,588 Welcome to the first annual Pat-A-Thon. 293 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,292 We're raising money today for Snails Who Can't Dance. 294 00:11:40,359 --> 00:11:42,627 And here's your host, 295 00:11:42,694 --> 00:11:44,229 Patrick Star! 296 00:11:44,296 --> 00:11:46,030 - [burps] - [screams] 297 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,233 - [yells] Oof! 298 00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,069 [funky music plays] 299 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,937 * They weren't born to boogie * 300 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,174 * It's a sad, sad tale * 301 00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:56,941 * Never learned to dance * 302 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,477 * Like a happy * 303 00:11:58,543 --> 00:11:59,611 Uh... 304 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,012 - Snail! 305 00:12:01,079 --> 00:12:02,914 - Gesundheit! 306 00:12:02,981 --> 00:12:04,949 - [applauds] 307 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,418 - Hey, folks! 308 00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:10,789 You wanna know how snails settle their differences? 309 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,592 They "slug" it out! 310 00:12:13,658 --> 00:12:16,094 Eh? Eh? [crickets chirp] 311 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,596 Aw. 312 00:12:17,662 --> 00:12:20,199 - The canned laughter is stuck! 313 00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,401 - Ha-ha. 314 00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,969 [wheezes] - It's gone stale. 315 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,638 - Oh. [laughs] 316 00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:31,210 Let's say hello to our Pat-A-Thon phone bank! 317 00:12:31,243 --> 00:12:33,845 We collected some neighborhood randos 318 00:12:33,912 --> 00:12:37,716 to sit by and take your calls and pledges. 319 00:12:37,782 --> 00:12:39,218 - [barks] 320 00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:42,654 - You can call me with your most intimate pledges. 321 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,922 - If you'd like to make a call, 322 00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:45,857 please hang up and try again. - [burps] 323 00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:48,527 - Excuse me, I don't want to do this. 324 00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,895 I'm just here for my paper route money. 325 00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:52,364 [phone rings] Hello? 326 00:12:52,431 --> 00:12:55,234 - [mumbling] - Is there a "Boring" here? 327 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:57,502 An I.M. Boring? 328 00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,739 Does anyone know I.M. Boring? 329 00:13:00,805 --> 00:13:03,708 - Yeah, we know! [laughter] 330 00:13:03,775 --> 00:13:05,244 - [grumbles] 331 00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:09,681 - Ha. Today's goal is to raise a thousand hundred dollars 332 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:13,252 to get every non-hoofing snail 333 00:13:13,252 --> 00:13:15,654 the dance lessons they need. 334 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,688 Hey! 335 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,557 Let's check the tote board 336 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:21,660 to see how much money we've raised so far. 337 00:13:24,296 --> 00:13:26,265 [giggles] 338 00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:28,500 Such generosity. 339 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:34,939 Let's check in with GrandPat in the backyard. 340 00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:38,577 He's gonna do a dangerous stunt to help us raise money. 341 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:41,346 Take it away, Church Curtains! 342 00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:43,081 - Uh, that's Perch Perkins. 343 00:13:43,147 --> 00:13:45,817 And I'm here in the Star Family backyard 344 00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:49,288 where GrandPat will attempt a frightening and stupid set 345 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:50,755 of daredevil stunts 346 00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:53,292 on what looks like an obstacle course 347 00:13:53,325 --> 00:13:55,894 built by a stark raving lunatic. 348 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,863 Oh, and here's our future casualty now. 349 00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:00,732 What are you doin' there, old-timer? 350 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,634 - I'm making out my will. 351 00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,703 Nobody gets nothin'! 352 00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:07,005 - Ah-ha, the elderly. 353 00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,106 Back to the studio. 354 00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:09,508 - Thanks, Lurch. 355 00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:10,909 Right now, I'd like to bring out 356 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,313 one of the reasons why we're doing this telethon. 357 00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,748 Say hello to Gary-- 358 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,217 a snail who can't dance-- 359 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:22,354 and his owner, Spongebob! 360 00:14:22,421 --> 00:14:24,323 * * 361 00:14:24,356 --> 00:14:26,591 - Thank you, Mister Star. 362 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,728 - Now tell us your pathetic story 363 00:14:29,794 --> 00:14:31,430 just like we rehearsed. 364 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,997 - Yes, well, you see, 365 00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:35,934 I've tried every dance there is with Gary. 366 00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:38,670 We tried tap. 367 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:41,906 Hm? 368 00:14:41,973 --> 00:14:43,742 [deflating noise] - Meow. 369 00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:45,143 - We tried ballet. 370 00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:47,446 Eh? 371 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,381 - [groans] 372 00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:51,583 - We even tried slam dancing. 373 00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:56,020 - [groans] 374 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,858 - But my poor snail just can't dance. 375 00:14:59,924 --> 00:15:01,460 [banging] - Let's go! 376 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,062 Dirty laundry time! 377 00:15:04,128 --> 00:15:05,196 - Mom! 378 00:15:05,263 --> 00:15:06,698 I'm doing a show! 379 00:15:06,765 --> 00:15:09,100 - And I'm doing the laundry. 380 00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:12,103 Come on, off with your dirty shorts. 381 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,372 - Aw... 382 00:15:14,773 --> 00:15:16,375 Hey, Mom, since you're here, 383 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:18,510 why don't you do that thing with your tattoo? 384 00:15:18,577 --> 00:15:19,644 - [giggles] 385 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,546 Oh, all right. 386 00:15:21,613 --> 00:15:25,049 * * 387 00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:26,250 [giggles] 388 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,986 Whoo-whoo! [giggles] 389 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,388 Whoo! 390 00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:30,489 * * 391 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,690 Whoo! [giggles] 392 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,758 * * 393 00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:35,860 [applause] 394 00:15:35,927 --> 00:15:38,530 - Master, I'd like to pledge 395 00:15:38,597 --> 00:15:40,699 so the snails can dance. 396 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,033 - With what? 397 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,903 You don't have anything because I don't pay you. 398 00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:49,874 - Patgor has been saving things from the doctor's floor. 399 00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:52,477 Patgor was going to build a friend, 400 00:15:52,544 --> 00:15:56,014 but now wants snails to dance. 401 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,784 - Oh, you know I don't approve of things that aren't wicked. 402 00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:02,521 But perhaps making a snail dance 403 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,856 is a new kind of evil. 404 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,057 Where's the phone? 405 00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:08,092 [doorbell rings] - Argh! 406 00:16:09,628 --> 00:16:11,029 - [grunts] Sheesh, 407 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,597 I haven't used this thing 408 00:16:12,664 --> 00:16:14,833 since I was hanging out with Dracula. 409 00:16:15,634 --> 00:16:17,669 Dead--just like Dracula. 410 00:16:17,736 --> 00:16:19,538 [crickets chirping] 411 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:23,041 [evil laughter] 412 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,210 Release the Whirly Brains! 413 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,213 - [laughs] 414 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,890 - Ring, ring! 415 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:42,927 Give my phone life! [cackles] 416 00:16:42,994 --> 00:16:45,730 - [phone rings] - [Spongebob monster rings] 417 00:16:46,665 --> 00:16:49,734 - I've got an incredible offer on an exclusive time share 418 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,136 in the Black Lagoon if you act now! 419 00:16:52,203 --> 00:16:53,472 - [groans] 420 00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:56,374 Now I remember why I disabled the phone. 421 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:57,776 [chainsaw whirrs] 422 00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,544 [evil laughter] 423 00:16:59,611 --> 00:17:02,581 [lively saxophone music] 424 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,849 [both screaming] 425 00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:09,588 * * 426 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:10,889 - [screams] 427 00:17:10,955 --> 00:17:12,891 [both screaming] 428 00:17:12,957 --> 00:17:16,495 * * 429 00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:18,362 - [yells] 430 00:17:19,698 --> 00:17:21,199 [laughs] - [screams] 431 00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:24,202 - Great! Hey, everybody, 432 00:17:24,268 --> 00:17:27,572 I just bought a time share in the Black Lagoon! 433 00:17:27,639 --> 00:17:29,373 [applause] 434 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:31,042 - Hold everything! 435 00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:32,811 Stop the music! 436 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,145 You don't need to raise money. 437 00:17:34,212 --> 00:17:35,580 - Is that a toaster? 438 00:17:35,647 --> 00:17:36,948 - T'ain't a toaster! 439 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,251 I call it the Automatic Snail Hoofer. 440 00:17:40,318 --> 00:17:43,221 Just hook your gastropod up to this baby 441 00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:45,790 and they'll be boogieing at the barn in seconds. 442 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,959 Allow me to demonstrate. 443 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:51,530 Y'see, the hoofer does your dance moves for ya. 444 00:17:51,596 --> 00:17:53,197 When I flip this switch, 445 00:17:53,264 --> 00:17:56,568 Gary will be trippin' the light fantastic! 446 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,271 - [gurgling] 447 00:18:00,338 --> 00:18:01,372 Meow. 448 00:18:04,676 --> 00:18:06,645 - Woah-oah-oah-oah! 449 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:07,812 - [laughs] 450 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:08,980 Oof! 451 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,983 [all yelling] 452 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,051 D'oh! 453 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,153 - May I have the next dance? 454 00:18:16,621 --> 00:18:17,956 - [screams] 455 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:25,597 It just needs some minor adjustments. 456 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,600 - [yowls] - Yikes! 457 00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,134 [screams] 458 00:18:30,201 --> 00:18:32,671 * * 459 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,105 - Whoo-hoo! 460 00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:36,875 One penny on the way to our goal. 461 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:42,814 Keep those calls, letters, and psychic messages coming in. 462 00:18:42,881 --> 00:18:47,218 Oh, psychic message coming in from the backyard. 463 00:18:47,285 --> 00:18:49,654 And Birch Jerkins. 464 00:18:49,721 --> 00:18:52,156 - That's Perch Perkins. 465 00:18:52,223 --> 00:18:54,593 You're now looking at the Alligator Jump, 466 00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,662 Wheel of Fire, ten blindfolded boxing champs, 467 00:18:57,729 --> 00:19:00,398 and a math teacher with a problem. 468 00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:03,234 The time is getting closer when Patrick's grandfather 469 00:19:03,301 --> 00:19:05,904 will sacrifice himself in order to help 470 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,873 poor, unfortunate snails to dance. 471 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,809 - What's this about snails? 472 00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:13,511 - [laughs] Oh, what a relic. 473 00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:14,613 Back to you. 474 00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:15,914 - Thanks, Blerch! 475 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,482 - Gary, get fixin' to shake your tail feather 476 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:21,085 'cause I got a new solution! 477 00:19:21,152 --> 00:19:24,789 I call it the Cutting a Rug Rug. 478 00:19:24,856 --> 00:19:26,357 [vibrates] 479 00:19:26,424 --> 00:19:28,492 Let me demonstrate. 480 00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:31,229 All right, Gary, show 'em what you got! 481 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,631 - Meow! [vibrates] 482 00:19:32,697 --> 00:19:33,898 - Whoa! 483 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,533 * Bow to your partner Bow to your own * 484 00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,201 * You're shook up Down to the bone * 485 00:19:37,268 --> 00:19:38,703 * And a dosido--* 486 00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:40,304 [screams] 487 00:19:40,371 --> 00:19:41,539 [phone rings] - Y'ello? 488 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,142 - [mumbles] - Anybody here named Ima? 489 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:46,010 Ima Loser? 490 00:19:46,077 --> 00:19:48,980 Hey, everybody! Ima Loser! 491 00:19:49,047 --> 00:19:50,849 - We know! [laughter] 492 00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:51,950 - [grumbles] 493 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,284 - [snores] [alarm rings] 494 00:19:53,351 --> 00:19:55,486 [shouts] Oof! 495 00:19:55,553 --> 00:19:58,356 Looks like we're nearing the end of our Pat-A-Thon 496 00:19:58,422 --> 00:20:00,892 for Snails Who Can't Dance. 497 00:20:00,959 --> 00:20:02,393 But before we go, 498 00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,696 let's get out to our big finale 499 00:20:04,763 --> 00:20:07,065 with Perch Perkins! 500 00:20:07,131 --> 00:20:08,432 - That's Search Gherkins! 501 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,301 I-I mean Smerch Lurkins! 502 00:20:10,368 --> 00:20:12,136 Agh! Whatever. 503 00:20:12,203 --> 00:20:13,672 Time for the big stunt. 504 00:20:13,738 --> 00:20:15,273 [sighs] 505 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,842 Looks like grandson is giving grandfather 506 00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:19,577 a last-minute pep talk. 507 00:20:19,644 --> 00:20:23,715 - I just wanna say it's been nice knowing you. 508 00:20:23,782 --> 00:20:24,949 Oh, wait, wait, 509 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:26,818 that came out wrong. 510 00:20:26,885 --> 00:20:28,486 - Grandson, 511 00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:31,322 can you check the heating pad in my seat? 512 00:20:31,389 --> 00:20:33,357 It's not working. 513 00:20:33,424 --> 00:20:34,659 - [grunts] Ooh. 514 00:20:34,726 --> 00:20:37,428 Well, my buns are nice and toasty. 515 00:20:37,495 --> 00:20:38,930 [yells] - [chuckles] 516 00:20:38,997 --> 00:20:40,531 - Whoa! 517 00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:41,766 [screams] 518 00:20:43,167 --> 00:20:46,304 [screaming] 519 00:20:47,605 --> 00:20:49,540 - [yells] - [giggles] 520 00:20:50,641 --> 00:20:52,410 - Ha-ha! 521 00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:56,280 - [shivers] 522 00:20:56,347 --> 00:20:58,149 - The excitement is killing me. 523 00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,785 Is it killing you? 524 00:21:00,852 --> 00:21:02,787 - Maybe. 525 00:21:02,854 --> 00:21:04,923 [both yelling] 526 00:21:06,024 --> 00:21:07,091 - I did it! - [yells] 527 00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:08,426 - I did it, y'all! - Ah! 528 00:21:08,492 --> 00:21:09,961 - I found the cure! - Meow. 529 00:21:10,028 --> 00:21:12,196 - I call it the Tap Spray. 530 00:21:12,263 --> 00:21:13,932 - Meow? 531 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:16,000 [jazz music playing] 532 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,168 [tapping] 533 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:18,636 - Meow. 534 00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:21,439 [meowing] 535 00:21:21,505 --> 00:21:23,975 * * 536 00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:25,977 Meow, meow, meow. 537 00:21:26,044 --> 00:21:27,545 Meow, meow! 538 00:21:27,611 --> 00:21:29,213 - Yahoo! 539 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,949 Look at that snail a-tappin'! 540 00:21:31,015 --> 00:21:32,016 - Yeah! 541 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,484 [phone rings] - Ah. 542 00:21:33,551 --> 00:21:39,824 * * 543 00:21:39,891 --> 00:21:42,927 [tapping] [Spongebob vocalizing] 544 00:21:42,994 --> 00:21:44,062 - [yells] 545 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:46,230 [crashing] 546 00:21:46,297 --> 00:21:47,665 - Thank you, everyone, 547 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:51,535 for making this Pat-A-Thon a huge success! 548 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:52,871 - All right, listen up. 549 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,573 I've got a message here from a Mia Dumbbell. 550 00:21:55,639 --> 00:21:58,209 Can someone please call Mia Dumbell? 551 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:01,780 - [in unison] Okay, You're a dumbbell! 552 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:03,081 [laughter] - [grumbles] 553 00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:04,916 I hate telethons! 554 00:22:06,317 --> 00:22:09,253 [upbeat music] 555 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:16,427 * * 556 00:22:16,477 --> 00:22:21,027 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0